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For better or for worse…

Weddings are a major trigger for me.

As the sweet couple stands up front, exchanging vows and saying “for better or worse,” I always get a pit in my gut thinking, “They have no idea what that even means.” For better or worse.

I guess it just brings me back to our wedding day (this was actually our reception a week later) where we said the same vows. We had no idea what kind of life storms were coming. I had no idea what “for worse” would look like.

But God knew…

I love this picture because I remember how young and free I was, how innocent and unaware. My life was a white picket fence in this picture.

Today, I’m forever thankful for this moment and that I married the man I did. Not many would still be by my side. Divorce among parents of special needs children is VERY HIGH. I believe it’s because it shows you the worst parts of yourself, and most spouses don’t want to stick around for those parts.

For us, our “for worse” looks like parent loss, cancer, and brain-damaged children who will never truly grow up.

But our “for better” looks like a spouse who stood by my side even when anxiety and depression had a hold on me and cancer stole all my beauty. Two kids whose smiles light up any room and who have more joy than most. A small farm straight out of our dreams and a faith that is unwavering because once you’ve seen God move like we have, you’re sold out for Christ.

So, if you’re not married yet, know your “for worse” might be hard, but I promise if you keep your eyes on Jesus, your “for better” will trump it and God will use all the pieces of the “for worse.” No suffering is ever wasted.

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