Motherhood hit me like a ton of bricks.
We went from the most love one could ever experience to the highest level of suffering in minutes.
As I walked through the first few months with Hazel, I don't even know if I knew up from down. I was in pure survival.
After I got my feet back underneath me, I began to wonder how I would process this all. I had a child who was sick, and we had no idea how long she would live and what her life would look like. It was too much for a 30-year-old to deal with.
My first attempt at sorting through all the emotions was therapy. I always have and will always be a fan of therapy. But for me, at the time, I knew what would help me more than anything was sharing my story.
I started writing, and there came "Hazelnut, it's time to get up."
This book was an attempt at my dealing with the grief I had and also sorting through the life we had been given at the time. I desperately wanted others to understand what we had been through and more about Hazel's journey.
One of my deepest pain in this circumstance is the fact that others don't, and won't ever fully understand, they can't, but this book gives the beginning picture.
What excites me more is the conversations that will be had because of Hazel's story.
I believe where the conversation starts, understanding begins.