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Longing for heaven

As I sat in church and the pastor painted the image of heaven, tears streamed down my face. I felt grief, longing, and sadness all at the same time.

When I became a mom to not only one, but two children with a degenerative disorder, I started to yearn for heaven differently. I began craving it more than life here on earth.


Witnessing my children struggle in the NICU and continuing to face challenges with basic life functions today has brought discomfort into my life. Before that, I was comfortable.

When my husband and I were living on the lake in Washington state as newlyweds, we had it all: high-paying jobs, friends, hobbies, and a church we loved. Life was easy.


Sometimes God uses difficult circumstances, like parenting two children with disabilities, to remind us that this world is not our home.

So as the pastor spoke, envisioning Russell running (my three-and-a-half-year-old who can’t walk) and Hazel talking (my six-and-a-half-year-old nonverbal daughter), the tears came streaming down.


There isn’t much else I crave more than being with Jesus because one day, when we see Him face to face, when Hazel and Russell see Him face to face, they will be healed, and I will be healed. We all will be healed and free from sin.

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)


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