Yesterday it hit me… I’m about to have a four-year-old who is extremely disabled and can’t walk… 😭
The grief set in and it was heavy.
It’s like I was realizing all over again that Russell has disabilities when I already know that.
With Russell’s fourth birthday around the corner, so much grief is setting in that I didn’t expect.
For my friends, it looks like grief that their kids are growing up. That they have limited time left raising their kids and they aren’t babies anymore.
For me, it’s grief that I don’t have what I thought I would as a mom. That my kids still can’t talk. That Russell still can’t walk. It’s grief that I am one of the moms in the club who has a child in a wheelchair. 😭
I know you look at my page and think I crush it as a special needs mom, but I want each of you to know I’m no different than you. I struggle every day, and when holidays and birthdays come, I struggle even more.
I love Russell so much. He is a blessing and I wouldn’t trade his life for anything.
It’s me. Yes, I’m the problem. Me and my grief.
Friends, pray for me. Pray I see that the Lord has given me an incredible privilege for the suffering he hasn’t taken away.
And believe 👆 for yourself too.
Xoxo
Julia
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